It wasn’t that long ago that our family made the switch from eating a highly processed diet of convenience foods to an all natural diet. I first decided to make the changes because of my daughter’s ADHD-like symptoms, but became ever more determined to make the changes after researching the common additives in processed foods for myself. (Read more about our reasons in the 6 Week Challenge.)
I knew I was ready for a change, but my daughter had always been a severely picky eater. I didn’t know what to expect from her once I took away her favorite cookies and crackers. In the weeks before I instituted the changes I read loads of articles and books on strategies for picky eaters. I’ve pulled together a lot of information, but to be honest it’s still a never-ending trial and error experiment in our house. I know there are throngs of other moms who struggle as well. So this is the first in a series of Picky Eater Strategies where I’ll share some of the things that have worked well for us, and hopefully you’ll share some things as well.
One of the most important things to establish with a child who has food issues is trust. They need to know that when you push them to try something new it’s not going to cause them whatever harm they may be imagining in their small but imaginative little minds.
To establish trust with Sophie I sat down with her and explained why we needed to stop eating all the processed foods we had previously survived on, and begin eating more natural foods so we could all feel healthier. I used words and phrases she could understand. I told her I wouldn’t make her eat anything that could hurt her or make her sick – pinkie swear.
So, we started very slowly. I picked things that she had some previous experience with but just didn’t eat on a regular basis. Watermelon is a good example – she loved it the few times she’d eaten it, but it wasn’t something I served regularly. Once we had established trust with watermelon I moved on to things she she didn’t like, but I had a hunch she would accept if she ever actually tried them. The next thing we tried was carrots. With Sophie, texture seems to be more important than the taste for most things, so this was a good step. After a few tentative days of eating a few bites of carrots, they became accepted as a normal snack.
Again, we moved very slowly through different foods and I try very hard to only make her eat things I feel she would eventually like if given the chance. I always invite her to try everything though. Some things have been liked right away, and some things still haven’t been accepted. But at least when I ask her to try something new she no longer flops on the floor and wails like she’s been struck from behind by some invisible force. That’s a big deal around here.
Now it’s your turn – do you have any ideas to share about introducing your child to a new food for the first time?
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I’m very lucky. My kids are not picky eaters. They have been eating fruits and veggies since they were little. I think something that might help is to let them help choose the menu items and help with the preparation when they can.
I also tell my kids that they have to eat a vegetable. If they don’t want to eat the beets, there is salad or carrots, celery, whatever in the fridge.
Good luck with your picky eater. I enjoy reading your blog. I’m also working harder to eat more natural and unprocessed foods.
Thanks for the suggestions, Lisa. We have made great strides over the last year but I’m hoping to make even more over the year to come. My saving grace is that Sophie loves fruit, and eats apples more than anything else in our house. Glad you’re here!
We made a deal with my 5 year old extremly picky daughter: She gave me a list of things she’ll “never ever” eat like tomatoes, smelly cheese, orange etc.. and I accept them as it is and “never ever” force or even ask her to eat them, and in return she will try new veggies of fruits for me. If she does not like the taste she does not have to eat them again… Like an adult would do right? She tries anything since she feels that she’s got the power… Some will stay some we’ll ditch
The trick is you can always make your kid eat anything as long as you are imaginative. Uncooked tomatoes become tomato sauce with pasta (tomato is even healtier when cooked) cheese becomes greek yogurt side dish to almost every meal, orange becomes a juice and the problem solved! Ofcourse there are several things that are not so easily replaced but check out their nutrition info. and then replace them with sth your kid likes.
The amazing feeling that your child is eating healty will make all the hardwork worth it, and you’ll get used to even like looking for replacement food once you get uset to it. Find the internet site you like/find easy to use, bookmark it, woalla!
I used to take my youngest daughter shopping with me and let her pick out from the produce department foods she thought she would llike to try. I then brought her into the kitchen with me and let her help with cooking those chosen foods.Some foods stayed on her “I will eat list,” and some left. There was no way she would eat peas. Not even one. Yet she loved a big bowl of split pea soup with oyster crackers. Go figure! Only scrambled eggs. No runny yolk for her! Salad tuned out to be a big favorite drowned in her favorite dressing. A lot of those veggies she had chosen, went into her salad raw. Then some of them turned into after school snacks. Ants of a log (celery sticks with peanut butter and raisins), raw carrots, and all sorts of fresh fruit.
As a result of introducing her to new foods as a child, when she grew up and had a home of her own with children, she turned out to be a fabulous cook. And she had no picky children.
You can overcome the challenge of having a picky eater in the family with some imagination and patience.
Susan — i”m so glad that you’ve decided to address this topic since I’ve been struggling with picky eaters for a while now. I have a 6 years old son and 4 year old daughter – and they couldn’t have morfe different tastes! My daughter loves fruits, veggies, rice, pasta and fish…. not so bad, right? But my son won’t eat ANY of those things (except for some fruit) — he loves red meat and hot dogs!!!! This makes cooking one meal for EVERYONE to enjoy, VERY challenging!! Of course I try to provide a litle of everything, carrot sticks, rice, bread, plain pasta, at every meal… but I hate cooking different things for everyone and desperately try not to fall into that trap! Although there are times when I make something different for my husband and I to eat since he gets home later… but that still leaves me with two different meals to plan for. What I really like about your blog is that you seem to make a conscious effort to include your children’s tastes (and your husband’s!) in the meals you make, while cooking something healthy at the same time! So THANK YOU!!! And if anyone has more ides for picky eaters — I’d love to hear them!
Thank you Maryann! I have a lot to say about this particular subject so stay tuned for more picky eater posts.
Hi Susan,
I’ve just stumbled upon your website but I can tell that I am really going to like it. I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old, A busy full time job and a husband who is addicted to fast food. My 2 year old (almost 3) son started showing autistic signs early on. That coupled with his allergies and asthma prompted my family to change our diet. Immediately we put our son on a gluten free, casien free diet but that didn’t help with his bowel movements so we eventually started the GAPS diet. The GAPS diet has a been such a great thing for him and many of his symptoms have greatly improved or vanished all together. The only problem is that this diet requires A LOT of home cooking and eating lots of soup. Getting a 2 year old, borderline autistic, picky eater to eat soup has been no easy feat. We have ups and downs (currently in a very long down) and I’m always looking for ways to encourage him to eat the healthy foods. You are absolutely right that trust is the biggest factor of all. If he doesn’t trust me then he won’t even try it, no matter how cute it looks. I recently read an article about picky eaters and how it is a sensory issue with them. The article suggested having children jump up and down before trying new things. It sounds silly but check out the article: http://www.new-vis.com/fym/papers/p-feed13.htm
Thanks for sharing your journey and information with us!
That’s a great article, thanks for sharing! The sensory issue is definitely a big part of our problems and a source of most of my frustrations. I’m going to try a few of those suggestions. I hear amazing things about the GAPS diet in situations like yours. It takes dedication and commitment, but sounds like you already have that. If you find any other good information like that article I hope you’ll share more.
Thanks so much for posting things about picky eaters. I have a 2 1/2 year old son who is very picky and will not try anything new. He does like fruit and milk and cheese. That is about it. I am trying to make just one dinner a day and have him try a little…what a nightmare. Is he too young for this? And am I causing dinner to be a nightmare? I look forward to more on picky eaters and will work on trust. Thanks again.
2 1/2 is such a tough age, my son is 2 1/2 and he is picky and will not try anything new, my 2 older children went through a similar stage at his age as well. I think that at that age anything new is pretty scary, what I do rather than fight with my son is always offer new foods and put them on his plate, but I don’t push if he eats them or not he is too young to understand why and I find that just makes him more frustrated and determined to not eat those new foods. My 2 older children continue to be picky, but have begun to try new foods and now have the understanding that the new food is not gonna hurt them and that they need to at least try it. I would just keep putting it in front of him.
Thanks for the advice Erin! I totally agree with that. Just exposing them to new foods is an important step.
I think it’s different for each family – it’s a judgement call. I’ve spoken to two different pediatricians who have both told me that the rule should be the kids eat the same meal as the parents no matter what. If they choose not to eat then they just don’t eat. I know when I was a kid it was not even an option for my Mom to give me something other than what was on the table, ever. Just remember you’re the parent and you know what’s best, trust your instincts. More to come on this subject!
I agree about food being realted to sensory input. I read a great book about it years ago when the school tried to tell me my son was ADHD (which by the way is illegal for the school to be giving medical diagnoses’.) My son was in fact BORED and SMART and couldn’t work at their slow pace. Anyway, the book talked about ADHD & ADD in relation to sensory input and was given to me by a relative (a teacher w/ an MBA) with an autistic child. ADD & ADHD kids need less sensory input (like soft textured foods, soft clothes w/ no tags, no distractions in the classroom like noises, etc.) whereas my boy needed more sensory input (faster lessons, more tactile hands-on teaching, etc.). I found it very interesting that as a 12 month old he would drink his bottle while hanging upside down off the couch (with grampa holding his legs) every day! The book explained this as his need for more sensory input. Also, he would shake his head vigorously for a long time (to get dizzy). The book again said this was his need for more sensory input. In fact, the prior comment about children bouncing up and down I totally agree with! The book said kids needing more sensory input could get it from going on the swings at the park! My son also liked very hot salsa at 12 months old. However, my step brother (a grown man) is a picky eater, can’t eat mild salsa (he sweats like crazy w/ restruarant salsa), hates noises such as a computer fan which distracts him while working. I strongly believe my step brother needs LESS sensory input, but my children need MORE. I think that book was caled “Dealing with a Difficult Child”. I hope that helps.
Thank you Erin for that comment – that really hits home with me. I’m going to look for that book online tonight, it sounds like I could learn a lot from it. Glad you stopped by!